The Question of 'SECURE'ity

A right swipe, a pretty face, a handsome hunk, a charming woman, a sultry pair of lips, some dreamy eyes, an attractive selfie and bam! That's all it takes to move on in today's times. 

I envy the generation of the past decades. I envy my grandparents and my older family members who never had to go through the complexities of dating someone or finding someone. They never had a plethora of profiles to pick, choose and shortlist. They only had one genuine 'rishta' that came in their life guided by a wise family member and for most cases, it proved to be a fair choice down the line. 

Today, we are looking for love in a world that has infinite options. We are looking for pearls in the ocean of dating profiles. Yes, there are so many options. But these options are the real reason for making us feel emotionally insecure. 

However hunky dory any relationship may seem from the surface, deep within, there always lies a fear of being replaced by someone else. Thanks to the right swipe generation that has normalized the process of treating people like vegetables at a grocery sale. 

Are we really in a world that can help us feel secure in any relationship other than our blood relationships? If we look closely at the beautiful vases of high profile romantic relationships that are trending on social media, there is a high level of awareness amongst people about the sharing of roles and responsibilities in a relationship. The awareness about how a relationship should be kept alive and magical, the awareness about how to identify red flags, how to escape toxic traits and the list goes on. 

On one side, I feel there is progress in terms of being aware of which boundaries are healthy in any relationship. But on the flip side, I also feel that, with this long list of virtues and ideal traits, the conquest of love has only turned into a struggle for most people. 

People break apart after years of knowing each other and some click like magic in just a few moments. The nature of love is unpredictable and it has always been. 

The challenge today is that the plethora of options has made love even more unpredictable and unstable. With statistical proof that relationships are breaking like biscuits, it is time we ensure that we make our respective partners feel as secure as possible.

Small assurances like "I like you even when your hair is frizzy", a thank you note or even a genuine compliment at a party can go a long way in making your partner feel secure in a relationship. 

As single as I am, one may question my authority in giving the above suggestion. My defence is simple. I have been in love and have failed. Hence, I am very much aware of the basic assurances that I was not fortunate enough to receive. 

We are quick to label people and cancel them with a tag of "insecure". But in today's generation of fast forward matches and Tinder, how can one EVER feel secure? 

It is human nature to protect the bonds we hold so dearly in life. The challenge now is that we need to work harder to protect our relationships in the current times. And most importantly, we need to protect our minds and hearts from the constant fear of being replaced and losing people we love. 

Swipe left maybe? 

~

Snehal Shrivastava